Missing home....

This morning I changed my calendar to the new month. My calendar is a collage of pictures of the kids over the last year. As I looked through the pictures, I reminisced about what happened and what we were doing when all of those pictures were taken. Pictures of the kids' first day of school and Kristin and Shawn licking the beaters after making chocolate chip cookies with me. I looked at those cute smiling faces and thought about how much they have changed and grown in the last year, how much our lives have changed in the last year. Oh, how I miss the quieter days in my small hometown where all my children were born and all my friends are.

Most of the time I think I am the only one feeling this longing for home. The kids seemed to have settled into their new surroundings, made a few friends and seem happy. Sometimes at night as I'm tucking Kristin in, she'll smile and say, "I feel happy. I don't know why I feel happy, I just do." One night she added, "I have to think about that." That's the ultimate best way to end a day, knowing your child is going to bed happy. However, tonight I was reminded that they feel the same as I do, but don't always express it. At the dinner table tonight Derek looked up at the calendar, looked over the pictures and said, "I can't look at those pictures! It reminds me of home and makes me want cry." I think Helena will always be "home" to us. We will get use to living here and I think eventually, the feeling of missing home will not be felt as often. "Kids are resilient. Kids can adjust." I hear that all the time and I've even said it myself.  However, they still experience the same feelings we do. In the last month, Derek has been waking up a couple nights a week from nightmares. He can't explain what is going on and it takes me a long time to get him to calm down. He is my worrier and I can't help but think they are in direct correlation to all the changes that have happened in the last few months. The last one was Saturday. I'm hoping they will stop very soon.

The twins start preschool next week. They are excited and I'm excited for them and myself. I will have 3 hours twice a week to myself to do whatever I want. I have visions of being pampered with a pedicure or massage or maybe finally getting a haircut. One can dream, right?...Lol.